Ever

Have you ever waited
By a foggy window
For the mail

Have you ever been disappointed
By a close friend,
Tried so hard, but still managed to fail

Have you ever broken down,
Gotten on your knees
And cried.

Have you ever?
Heard your mind wail
For the loss of just one person.

Mechanical

Electric love sent shivers down my power cord
I feel robotic
Mechanically, I pick myself up
From where you left me

Covered in deep gashes,
Broken buttons,
Shattered switches
Mechanically picking up the pieces
Turning knobs into place

Electric love was once my bread and butter
It made my engine flutter
With the wings of holographic butterflies
Mechanically I'm activated
By your voice

You're still here
I thought you'd left
"Welcome back,"
I say mechanically
"I'm here to rip you apart"

Rip me apart?
You already shattered me once
My body is lackluster at best
She reached into my chest and ripped out all mechanics
That kept me conscious

Can't Take the Truth

Your lies are like arsenic,
Hard to swallow
Even harder to digest

Your thoughts are poison to my heart
Hard to live with
It in my veins

The truth would be better
If you hadn't stored so much deception
Inside my naive head

Bound

Forever I waited to be put to rest
I lived and died but was still stuck between
Bound by my companions
Made immortal by my sacrifice
Those three live without me

Forever I longed to have them beside me
I lived and died; all alone
Bound to wait for their deaths
They were made immortal by my sacrifice
They will forever live without me

Summer

Do you ever feel
Like your life has gone
Gone with the cold of winter
How many months before it returns

Do you ever feel
As if your time has been wasted
Wasted by the ideals of other people
How many times have you been told you're wrong

Do you ever feel
Like your soul has shriveled
Shriveled with the cold
Of a winter that is so far off

'Human Nature' and 'Throw Me Away'

Human Nature

Human nature
Naturally you'd spill your secrets
If you were quite as human as I

The expression goes
You're only human
But is there more than human

Human nature
Naturally you'd tell me everything
Without me even asking

You always say you feel alone
Sometimes I don't even hear the words
I catch you staring at the phone

Human nature
Naturally calls you in
It's only natural you'd want to be with others

Others just as human as you
I see the loneliness in your eyes
So just reach out to me

Human nature
Pulls you closer
But you can't reach my outstretched hands

Don't you wish to be closer?
To me, or to the other people out there
We're all just waiting for that ring






Throw Me Away

I have been many places
I have seen the peaks of mountains
I have watched the desert fountains
Seen the beaches on the coast

But I am still disposable
Toss me away
Use me only once
Why did you make me this way?

I have been farther than you think
I have seen the grassy hills
I have seen California's windmills
Any sight you have seen

I was there beside you
But you threw me out
Used me once
And now I'm sitting in a landfill

We went there together
Remember when we saw Tonto
We watched the river's flow
I thought you'd be here forever

Wasn't I useful enough?
But your treatment was so rough
I thought I'd called your bluff
When I challenged you to throw me away

We saw Little Tokyo
Can you remember half these places we go?
We've seen lakes and even dusty trails
When your legs were about to fail

I revived your strength
I was there to replenish
I went a great length
To relinquish all I had to offer

I was there for you
But I was banished
And now all I see
Are mountains of black and white

You sent me off alone
Is this nay home
For the one that kept you going?
Now all I want, is for you to come back

Singing

She's singing
He's singing
A couple trapped in endless sin
The guard grabs her lover's arm
Pulls him out of their cell
She calls out his name

She's singing
He's singing
A couple caged in endless sorrow
She reaches out her hand
Through the rusted iron bars
He calls out her name

She's singing
He's singing
A couple trapped in endless loss
The guard drags him away
She falls to her knees
And sings a hopeful tune

She's singing
He's singing
A couple about to lose each other
He is laid before the executioner
He watches as they hold up the ax
He whispers along to the tune she sang long ago

"My darling,
Do you see me now?
Staring this life in the face
I'll always be here

My darling,
I hope you saw somehow
I always loved your silent grace
You keep away my fears"

Empty

Empty ears
Does the silence consume your mind
Do you feel left behind?
Whats the name of that song

Empty thoughts
Can you recollect those thoughts you had
Did those memories desert you too
What was his name

Empty hearts
Does the stale heartbreak return you to a state of sadness
Can you even remember the name of a lover you once had
What was her name

Empty
Can you fill this space that the silence controls
Did you even try
And where did you go,
Are these the questions you still have?

Leather-Bound Book

Emaciated face
Just holding on
Loss of life
Now the rest are all gone
To that great beyond
Soon he'll be following along

Dry as dust, a million cracks
His wrinkled skin
A face full of untold stories,
His stories,
Past glories
Each crevice, line and crowsfoot
Could tell the young of this generation
The story of the Great Depression,
The Holocaust,
Or even of the brighter days,
His days

Actual Life

Writing brings me to life
With the characters I made
To keep my own sanity,
To protect me from the loneliness

Writing shows me death
Killing off the persona's I created.
To divulge into their minds
Is to divulge into mine.

Writing brings me understanding
Making compromises with myself
To keep friendships strong,
To protect me from myself

Writing brings me hope
Trying daily to make things better.
To wish that I could change this for the better
Is to have false optimism.

Writing may bring me all these things
But it can't bring me what I really want
Closer to actual life, sanity and understanding
I can only fake it